I cannot live without you [21]

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When people lose their spouses and are left all by themselves, they usually say this while wailing,“How should I live now? I cannot live without you.”
The wailing might represent how much they loved “you,”but in fact, the essence of these sayings is not about “you” but about “me.”What I am sad about is not you who lost your life, but me who lost you. I am sad about myself who has to live in the world without you, feeling the pain of loss. Here, the subject who is feeling the sorrow is me rather than “you” who is dead. Therefore, people say that the funeral is not for the dead but a ritual to console the living.

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Guilt for not having been good to them [19]

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Death of a spouse and sorrow. When we realize the fact that our spouses are dead, we fall into an deep sorrow. However, what is this sorrow about? It’s hard to admit, but we feel sorrowful about ourselves, who are feeling pain of loss. Of course, the heart of mourning for the dead is present. How can we not feel sorry about the death of our loved ones? However, the feeling that comes more strongly than the sympathy for the spouse is my pain. I feel sad about my loneliness and myself, who has to live alone without the spouse. The feeling of loss from the absence of a spouse, the economic hardship, and the guilt for not having been good to them, these are the pains that one has to endure.

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