When people lose their spouses and are left all by themselves, they usually say this while wailing,“How should I live now? I cannot live without you.”
The wailing might represent how much they loved “you,”but in fact, the essence of these sayings is not about “you” but about “me.”What I am sad about is not you who lost your life, but me who lost you. I am sad about myself who has to live in the world without you, feeling the pain of loss. Here, the subject who is feeling the sorrow is me rather than “you” who is dead. Therefore, people say that the funeral is not for the dead but a ritual to console the living.